"In LA there's nothin' but Mexicans..."

So if you haven't figured it out by now I've been choosing the more interesting quotes from people I've been talking to while in Japan as the titles for these things

So yesterday I had the task of finding my new room for the better part of this week...and my directions sucked...nothings is worse than having directions that seem good but then actually aren't. What made things difficult was the directions referenced things like banks and 100 yen markets...unfortunately for anyone making their way through Japan, there are several branches of banks and stores within spitting distance! Take the bank not only do most of the bank signs look the same (besides the actual name on the sign) but there are several of each bank surrounding the station. Actually, it's that the bank extends through the narrow block so when you go into the entrance of what seems like one branch you can come out the other side through what you thought was the entrance of another branch of the same bank but that doesn't excuse the other signs for the same bank down the street! So I had to flag down some relatively non hurried people for directions and I gotta say, having a neighborhood cop always on duty is convenient as all get out. Keep in mind folk, walkin' up and down stairs still kinda sucks from Fuji so this ain't exactly a pastry promenade (thanks Will). Anyway so I find my place and meet a couple of British dudes who don't know a lick of Japanese and one of them feels a little sick but before I can actually get him to a hospital it angrily dashes out to get directions to find one himself...I think he made it...
Oh yeah, there are these things called Suica (means watermelon if spelled suika) it's a really neat card you swipe to quickly travel by train, it cost five bucks and besides the convenience of not having to pick through your pockets, not really worth it. But the funny thing is the commercial for it. There are these penguins...everywhere! On the tv...penguins...on the posters at the stations...penguins...on the transit maps...Sam Jackson! I...I mean...penguins!!! It's kinda ridiculous. My friend Ryan says, "I still can't believe we were at war with these people, they're surrounded with flowers and cute anime things since birth and they have more respect for each other than the storm troopers had for Darth Vader so they must've been much meaner, war happy people 60 years ago, or we were bigger douche bags,"...I think it's a mixture of both.
So I took a quick stroll around Akiba (short Akihabara) again and took a peak at the stores this time and it gotta say...I was right it's far too bright there. I mean I wear glasses can ya tone it down on the pinks and yellows, please?! Anyway, if you're ever in Akiba...the basements are for porn...and game arcades and if you don't read the signs you can find yourself lured in by game posters into porn heaven...I know I was...what?...I didn't read...moving on! There are cute girls everywhere by the station giving out napkins (remember almost no paper towels in public spots) advertising somewhere or another and I feel bad when I can't accept their adverts because my pocket's already full of 'em and they're standin' there all sad at night all alone competing against their maid rivals for male attention and you wanna give it to 'em you do but your pockets are sooo heavy...oh well.
There's another funny commercial on the trains where a woman is goin' to a yoga spot and she realizes putting her foot behind her head is impossible so she opts for the tea which I am to assume has the same benefits...it's just funny 'cause she's smiling but saying, "Ain't gonna happen," basically, at the same time.
So when I came back, I had some soba (really tasty buckwheat noodles in really salty broth) for dinner when this Japanese dude came in and was wondering how I was able to understand the news so well...and I didn't want to toot my own horn but he was asking for it...I have to say, "I've been studying for 7 years," or, "I've been doing it since high school," or, "I've been training my whole life for this trip," very often. I just need a t shirt that says it. Anyway a little chatting and it turns out the guy has been all over the west coast learning English but can't quite get the pronunciation and was impressed that with a little anime I can sound like a native speaker. Apparently there's a way Koreans sound when they speak Japanese, and a way Chinese sound when they speak but I have a Japanese way and I suppose that's pretty kewl to them. He told me about the Asians in northern California and the Mexicans in southern California and I told him we have about 5 Japanese at Hopkins...and it's sad...and we laughed and I'd like to say we shared a drink but it wasn't that kind of spot...